Origami anyone?!

So how are the summer holidays going with you? We have been busy – so far we have spent a week in sunny Cornwall staying at my parent’s house while they are on a fabulous cruise to Iceland enjoying the beaches and looking after their dog, Flora.

 Since we have come home almost everybody has had a sickness bug – nice. It has put a bit of a dampener on things. I don’t know about you, but I get really paranoid when everyone around you is ill. I have forgotten how many times I have washed my hands today. Oh, and the house is looking quite sparkly as I can’t seem to stop cleaning.

It seemed like a great idea to look after Flora at the time I offered. We have two dogs already, what’s one more? She is a good dog; not used to cats, but as I said gaily to my mother whilst cheering her off on her hols “we’ll just tell her NO! And she’ll soon get used to Willow (our precious cat)”. Yeah, right. Maybe I was wrong to be quite so optimistic....

Since ‘darling’ Flora has arrived she has:

1.      Howled all of the first night in our kitchen until I finally broke at 2.34am and brought her and her beanbag upstairs and next to our bed. (This has severely upset Willow, who cannot stand the sight of her and upstairs is usually her domain)....

2.      Howled every time I have gone upstairs and left her downstairs.... this first happened while I was putting Xavier in his cot for the afternoon nap. I festered with fury whilst seeming calm and sublime reading in my wonderful rocking chair then, once he was asleep she felt the sharp side of my tongue I can tell you.....

3.      Taken food out of my own hand (the cheek!) and considers anyone else’s food as fair game, yet steadfastly refuses to eat her own food....

4.      Decided that despite continuous rewards for coming when called, she will only come back when when SHE feels like it, not when I call her. Cav has refused to walk her at all as she won’t listen to him even a tiny bit.

So... the count-down is on. The parents arrive back in the UK today and are collecting the dog at the weekend. THANK THE LORD.

I love Flora really. Just in her own home and not mine. Sorry Mum.

Moving on, Tillianne and I have been busy making origami bookmarks, butterflies and dragons. Our plan is to sell them at a local craft fair.We have never done it before and it was really fun. Next time I will buy pretty origami paper like this but for our first attempts plain paper is fine.

You can find the instructions on how to make the heart bookmarks here.

Next we moved on to making a butterfly. The instructions we used were from here. This was exhausting but we were happy with the results in the end:

The final piece de la resistance was our dragon –what a nightmare! We had to take a break in the middle because we got mind freeze. If you fancy having a go you can find the tutorial here. Remember to persevere J

We may need some practice but there is definitely potential!

Have I mentioned that the ‘lottie is coming on nicely? We are currently having a daily supply of lettuce, rocket, radishes, cumbers, peas, courgettes, gem squash, tomatoes and French beans. Feeling happy!

Weed on my lovelies, speak soon

Georgie xxx

Irish Mike

Hello, Hello,

Again it has been a while.....I am so busy with work and Mad Madam Mimm that I hardly get chance to share with you all! Its 10.15 on a Wednesday and I really should be making my way to bed but I was feeling the need to blog.

So....who Irish Mike I hear you ask? Well, I'll tell you.

Mel and I have had the allotment for appx 2 months now. The majority of the time we are there, we get a visit from one of our parent's acquaintance'....Mike. He is an Irish gentleman around late 70's in age but he is just the sprightliest most funny old fellow, I remember him  from our old local (no longer open) and when he first came to see our plot we were extremely interested in what he had to say (being a weathered plotter) 'Hi Mike, how are you?' we would ask, only to be responded with, 'wht yr doin tere now? you need to get some netting ovr tat'
Off he trotted, coming back with pipes and netting to create a safe haven for our lovely broad beans. He still had no idea who we were.
Next trip to the plot, he come along with 2 big handfuls of strawberries....'tere for te little one's' he says, 'I got no use for tem, I don't like tem' 'tell te gerls ti help temselves to me strawberries'
Moving on to the next visit, he brings over a bag of mini cheddars, pulls up the patio chair in front of our shed and starts conversing with the girls and giving away his little snack pack to them. Meanwhile, I'm digging over an empty bed with a fork whilst Mel de-weed's in another. Mike disappears, then reappears with a manual rotavator - to make things easier for me.....love him (and his rotavator - I might nick it!)

Do you know what he says?

'I like t' help tose tat work hard for temselves'

And that is really what this little post is about, work hard and you will reap the benefits, not only will you meet wonderful and helpful people along the way but you will have an immense feeling pride in yourself....something I think a lot of people lack these days.

Love Lauren x

P.S, Mike only realised  who myself and Mel were when our mum came down the plot to help and spoke to him.....doddery old fool! :-)   (jokes people, jokes!)

Home Schooling - The Journey Begins

Okey dokey, so over the last few days I have been finding it difficult to decide what to write about. The trouble is I have lots of ideas which I think to myself  "I'll blog about that" and then promptly forget later on. There is however, one topic that is on my mind which I have not been brave enough to blog about. Until now....

Darling hubby and I have been researching Home Education.

It's been a huge learning curve for us and as it turns out, there is a growing trend of people in the UK preferring to home-school rather than rely on our wonderful country's education system. I am not going into the details of why we are looking into it other than to say that we feel it may suit us as a family. The plan is, try it for a year; if it doesn't work out, send them back to school. Not the end of the world - right?! It's still a MASSIVE decision though.

We are on the brink of something new and exciting. Terrifying and challenging. It will allow us so much freedom yet the prospect of having the children 24/7 is going to require some adjusting on my part. For the last year it has just been Xavier and I at home during the week days:
we have been having lots of fun building dens and getting messy in playgoup together. From the end of this week school finishes until September, and we begin our journey as a whole family.

Ha. It all sounds a little deep but I'm sure it will be be great....... I'm just a little nervous - I mean - by October I may be that mad woman you see out shopping with the totally uncontrollable kids on the verge of tears (oh, wait, that's me now - well almost lol). No, honestly, I intend for us to be that well-behaved family that can have fun AND learn things  (and behave whilst doing it).

The truth won't hit us properly until September, when all the girls friends will go back to school and the reality of what we are doing sinks in. Wish me luck! In the mean time enjoy the holidays - I know we will - more than ever :-)

Georgie xx

Counting my blessings and a Risotto

Money issues...if I had a piggy bank, this is how mine would look right now.

Yesterday after baking some pebbles and being the frugal 'I hate waste' kinda person that I am - leftover chicken noodle soup was on the menu.  Him upstairs and the slugs love this dinner, so, for once, all was well and at peace in our household.

To avoid 'nasty, over-cooked, claggy, regurgitated noodle syndrome' when the grown-ups ate later, I thought for a bit of fun and to speed things up I would use some of those curly instant noodles for the children first.  Whilst they were cooking I decided to check on our finances...

Thereupon, the funk hit me.  And nasty, over-cooked, claggy, regurgitated noodle syndrome was upon us.  Because I had forgotten they only take about a millisecond to cook.  I fished out the clag and put some proper noodles in and fed the children.  I then thought it would be a good idea to shake off the funk and have a lie down.  And in that I counted my blessings.

1. I have a wonderful loving husband.
2. I have two beautiful, healthy children
3. I have a super, supportive family who love me. 
4. I have the best friends ever
5. I have a home, sometimes its tidy
6. I have a car, albeit temperamental
7. I have my kitchen sanctuary
8. I have an allotment
9. I have my garden
10. The list could go on...

 Funk over.  There are so many people worse off than me.  I shouldn't complain. Period.

I got my butt off the bed and went downstairs to start our dinner only to find a saucepan with vomit bubbling away in it.  I had left the hob on, chicken noodle soup had become chicken noodle spew in the space of half an hour.

What to do now?  Mushrooms in fridge - Check.  Peas in the freezer - Check.

Mel's Mushroom and Pea Risotto (with some chicken from the noodle spew)

1/2 Onion finely chopped
Knob of butter
drizzle of oil
Small handful of porcini mushrooms (optional)
Sliced chestnut mushrooms (as many as you want, I'm not fussy)
Arborio Rice (about 150g)
Drop of white wine (optional)
Chicken stock (probably used about a litre)

Fry onions in oil until soft.  Add butter, when melted add the rice and coat well, cook for about 2-3 minutes on a low-med heat.  Add the wine (if using)  wait until liquid has been absorbed and a little stock. Stir. Repeat adding small amounts of stock and stirring all the time.  This usually takes about 20 minutes.  Somewhere in amongst all the stirring and adding, chuck in your peas and mushrooms.
Serve with some grated parmesan if you so wish.

It was one of the best risottos I have ever made.

And here is what I have learned...

Life can be a bit like boiled chicken noodle vomit some days.  But you can turn it around and make it into a risotto.

And on that little bit of wisdom, I'll catch you later

Love Melissa x



 

 

Bread Rolls - Try #1

The picture I found looks lovely, this is how my rolls are going to turn out.  With some blood, sweat and tears I'd imagine.

I had a cook book  - The Complete Cook given to me as a housewarming gift many years ago, it has since been chewed by the over-excited Beagle we once had, and is well thumbed.  Still, it contains a lot of valuable information and recipes, ideal for any novice or amateur cook.  I think you can get hold of a copy in Amazon, should it take your fancy!

So here goes nothing...

Soft Wholemeal Rolls (taken from the Complete Cook)

250g/8oz Wholemeal Flour
1 Tsp Salt
25g/1oz Fat (butter or lard)
1 1/2 Tsps Fast Acting Yeast and a tsp sugar
about 150ml/1/4 Pint of warm milk

Frothy Yeasty Stuff

Add the yeast and sugar to the warm milk and set aside for 15 minutes or so, until becomes frothy.

Sift the flour and salt into a bowl, add the frothy mixture and beat until the dough comes away from the bowl.  Knead for 10 minutes.  Put the dough into an oiled bowl and set aside to prove until double its original size.

Knock the dough back, roll into a fat sausage shape and cut into 8 equal sized pieces.  Shape into rounds and press down firmly with the back of your hand and release.  Place the rolls onto a floured baking sheet leaving a space for expansion. cover and prove for about 15 minutes, or doubled in size.

Dust with flour and bake in a hot oven (230oC/450oF) for about 15-20 minutes. 

Got this prove down!

This time I thought I had it in the bag.

The dough proved perfectly in the confines of its bag, I made the little rolls and proved again.  My rolls are not going to turn out like the picture they stayed pretty much the same size.  Frustration is setting in... what on earth am I doing wrong here people?!  Still, perseverance is key!  I popped the rolls in the oven, and promptly forgot about them.  Simply becasue Georgie had popped over with the girls to make paperweights out of pebbles for their teachers end of school leaving gift.  Him upstairs said we should've used the bread rolls instead of pebbles they'd probably last longer.  Needless to say his input wasn't considered.

Nevertheless, bread pebbles are still a step up from napalm proof bread biscuits.

Still I am absolutely sure that you don't have this post-prove bread curse, so please have a go, I'd love to see your bread efforts, bad or good... bad preferably, it would make me feel a hell of a lot better!

Go forth and bake.

Love Melissa x

Cooking with Slugs

 

Well not actual slugs.  Had you going for a bit though!

Slugs as in my children, wherever they go they leave a mess behind them, which muggins here, still picks up!

As children my parents believed that my sister and I  should be able to cook, and at the very least be able to cook a meal that was edible.  Being taught by my Dad usually meant a stool being pulled up to where he was preparing and cooking.  He talked through everything he was doing whilst we listened, and were encouraged to get hands on.  This is probably where my love of cooking first stemmed from - happy memories.  I would like to say a massive thank you to my Mum & Dad without their guidance I wouldn't be 1/4 of the cook I am today.

Ava getting 'hands on'

It seems only right that my children do the same. I am extremely proud that my children know where their food comes from.  Watching some programmes on the TV it is evident that this knowledge is getting lost in an ever increasing technological world.  Some children don't know that chips are made from the humble spud.  I think more children know where the HDMI port on their computer is, before knowing that bacon comes from a pig!!!
 
Ava is now 5 years old, she knows what a butternut is, she can differentiate a cucumber and a courgette.  she adores eating olives and anchovies, in fact all fish - she does think she is Toothless the dragon mind you!  I feel sad that most children won't even experience these different flavour sensations even into adulthood.  And please don't get me wrong, this is not me getting on my soap box, its just my observation.  As I said, I have been very lucky given that my parents advocate fresh quality and most importantly, home made food.


So today we start off simple - Homemade Fish Fingers, Broccoli and Mashed Potatoes
The recipe can be found at BBC Good Food

 We started by washing our hands, beating the eggs and bread crumbing the fish.  I happened upon some frozen pollock from the supermarket, which I thought was incredibly handy as fresh was unavailable!




 We did make a bit of a mess!

 Ava's end result (with some oven and cooker help from Mummy) Delicious!


Broccoli mash - what a revelation!!  Ava normally pulls the 'urrghh' face, broccoli not being one of her favourite 'flavour sensations'  Oliver on the other hand LOVES the stuff!  However, she quite happily ate the lot, along with the obligatory tomato ketchup

Mummy - 1
Ava - 0


No#1 Rule in our home . . . Mummy always wins :)



















Till next time, Love Melissa x

02nd July 2015 - Grrrrrrr

Its been a while my lovelies, and I apologise........

One incompetent broadband provider has decided that we no longer require the internet. I won't mention names, but it starts with an 'S' and ends in a 'Y'.......Yeah, like, Y the hell do I bother to pay your ridiculous prices when I can't even use the internet?

Esmé has driven us up the wall because she hasn't been able to watch Frozen on a certain internet channel due to the fact its 'frozen' in internet time.  Give me strength!

So...... you have had a good few days without me you lovely lot, bet you missed me didn't you? OK, maybe not!

Well, I have managed to procure a compost bin for our allotment whilst I've been offline. Courtesy of our Auntie Tina the little gem that she is.  Although, with the amount of weeds, bolted plants and other crap flora we have up-heaved from the allotment when we first took it over, we will probably need a 'compost skip' rather than bin, as Melissa put it.

We have had lovely hot weather the last few days, sometimes reaching 28 degrees, however, work has not been so kind.  As I said before, I work in a customer service centre, a living nightmare I like to think of it lately (its not always like that though).  Seriously, where do people get the time to witter on about bull for 45 minutes without an ounce of respect for the person (yes we are people - not robots) on the end of the line. Jeesh!  Sorry for the rant beauts, bad day!

Due to all the above I have been too much of a sweaty, stressy Betty to cook *sad face*.

Now although the weather has cooled a little, and after a more hellish day than usual at the office, I am hankering for the sanctuary of my kitchen. So, here is the recipe for the culinary wonder that is tonight's tea........

Lamb Burgers with Polenta Chips and Tomato, Basil & Mozzerella Salad

500g Lamb Mince
25g breadcrumbs
1 tsp finely chopped fresh rosemary
2 small garlic cloves (finely chopped)
Zest of 1 lemon
Handful of chopped mint leaves
1 Egg
Salt and pepper
Pack of ready made polenta
2-3 vine tomatoes
1 ball mozzarella
a handful of basil leaves
rapeseed or Extra Virgin olive oil

Mix the lamb mince, breadcrumbs, rosemary, garlic, lemon zest, mint and egg together with a scrunch of salt and pepper. Once combined, shape into 4-6 burgers.

Cut the polenta into chips and arrange on a baking sheet with a good drizzling of oil. Put these into a pre-heated (180c fan oven) for about 30 minutes.


While the chips are cooking, prepare the salad, I layer it tomato, mozzarella,  basil, tomato, mozzarella basil.....you get the idea!  Then drizzle the salad with oil and sprinkle on seasoning to your taste.

Leave the salad to get to room temperature and whilst this is being done, cook those burgers. they will want about 15-20 mins on a med-high heated frying pan.

By the time your burgers are ready, the polenta chips should also be done and you are ready to serve and relish!

Love Lauren x

Laundry is the devil.

Now, as Georgie knows, I am a little OCD when it comes to a clean house, and most days I whip around the kitchen with a vacuum, mop and cloth, whilst I tell myself I am the perfect housewife!  I don't have much clutter as I can't stand to see it, everything generally has it's proper place.

But my downfall...the laundry.  Its like my own personal Kryptonite.


I DESPISE LAUNDRY.  And every week I say to myself, 'I'll do a load a day, that'll make my life so much easier'  And I say it like I've had some sort of especial epiphany.. There is nothing quite like deluding yourself.  Every week, needless to say, I look at the veritable mountain of stuff and think 'I really should've done this, like I told myself last week' *SIGH*  It's like bloody Groundhog Week in our house.

I'll let you in on a little secret, I gave up ironing 4 years ago.  What is the point in ironing stuff that's going to get creased again anyway?  And if you are one of these people who irons pants, you really need another hobby or come and see me I'll knock some sense into you, I have a Pressure Cooker you know.  If him upstairs asked me to iron pants I'd probably would throw the iron at him.  Then again, if he asked me to iron I'd probably would laugh.

Here's the thing, before children (or slugs as I sometimes call them as they leave a mess wherever they go), I had hardly any laundry, hey I even DID the ironing.  Now?! 

Well last week for instance...

1. Every towel in the house had been used - I find this slightly impossible, but hey you can't argue with fact.
2. I found I was washing clean stuff the kids couldn't be bothered to put away or what they like to call 'tidied up'
3. I found myself washing the things that I couldn't be bothered to put away that the kids couldn't be bothered to put away/tidied up.
4. I had piles of clean washing in lovely neat piles on my bed. They got removed from the bed every night then got put back on the bed in the morning.  That literally went on for 4 days.
5. I washed two blankets 8 times on a delicate wash, because I forgot about them 8 TIMES.
6. Oliver's pile of washing was 3 times the size of everybody elses?  He wears school uniform most of the week, I still can't work this out.  God help in the summer hols...EEK.
7. Everyday there was a new pair of dirty socks rolled into little balls in the sitting room, usually stuffed down the side of the sofa.  Thanks Ava.

I know I shouldn't moan, him upstairs works full time.  Things like the laundry and housework I should be on top of.  Which is all well and good.

Until something like this happens...

And I lose the will...I could've quite easily buried him under the patio and been done for mariticide if he was in the house.  However, after calming down, I have come to the following 3 conclusions as to why this keeps happening:

1. He is a man
2. Stupidity
3. All of the above

Still, I have achieved the impossible this week and its only Tuesday, it's all done every last bit is freshly laundered and I hasten to add, put away.

Now onto picking the slugs up from school, providing an evening meal for the vultures and not sitting down til 9pm!  A woman's work is never done ;)  Such fun!

Love Melissa x

Rose-petal Jam

Ok all, this is going to be another experiment.

The Elderflower Champagne was an unmitigated success - although I've noticed that people are very wary if you mention it's 'homemade'- I can't imagine why. After all even the shop bought stuff has to be made somewhere. No, it doesn't just magically appear on the shelves and yes, milk does come from cows and yes,chips are actually made from potatoes that once grew in the soil. Anyway, going back to the champagne, my greatest comment was from my sister's 'very cool' boyfriend Theo:

Ha! To all you sceptics out there - "like a special shop bought one!!" So you should definitely give it a go as it was so easy.

Find the recipe here: Elderflower Champagne




Right, so back to today's experiment. My roses by our front door are in full bloom and I love them. So, obviously, I have chosen a recipe that will destroy them. Well not really but possibly. Wild roses are recommended in the recipe but mine are ornamental with small petals, so hopefully they will melt OK!

Rose-petal Jam

 First thing is first, you will need:

2 cups of wild rose petals (crammed down fairly tightly), I felt terribly guilty picking our roses but as you can see there are still plenty of flowers left).
2 cups of sugar
1 cup of water
1tbs lemon juice
1 tbs orange juice

This a Turkish recipe from the book Food For Free by Richard Mabey.

1. Dissolve the sugar in the water and add the lemon juice and the orange juice.
2. Make sure the rose petals are free of insects - I removed 2 money spiders from mine - woo hoo! Also remove any withered petals.
3. Stir the petals into the liquid and put the pan over a very low heat. Stir continuously for about 30 minutes or until all the petals have 'melted'. 

   

   I love my jam thermometer!

   
   
   
   (If you have a jam thermometer setting point is at 105 degrees Celsius yes I know I went over - oops!) Or just do the wrinkle test on a cold saucer. What ever takes your fancy.
4. Cool a little, put into a small glass jar and cover. Now comes the really boring bit of waiting for the jam to cool enough to try it on some toast.......I'll let you know what it tastes like tomorrow! 

Hopefully I won't poison the children... oh dear I'll have to try it first, what a chore.....

Good Luck!

 Georgie xx

26 June 2015 - Piri Piri Chicken

Its been a busy old week. Work is hectic, Esmé had her pre-school jabs, which she took quite well....surprisingly! I just had a small murmur of 'mummy, it hurts'.

However, later in the day, after I went to collect her from nursery, she came running out to the playground, tripped and grazed her knee......Christ alive! You would think someone had chopped her limbs off the way she screamed. Still a lesson is learned - Esmé is hard as iron when it comes to needles but, an absolute pansy when it comes to skin grazes.

So, its time to get to mine and Melissa's parents house (in case no one has realised - Melissa is my older sister....... Ha! take that Mel 'older'). They are currently away and I have been tasked with the watering of their plants until they're back.  Dave has stock take at work meaning he has been late home every night this week but even more so tonight (probably 10-11pm). I've barely had time for the allotment since Tuesday so I'll make up for this with a good few hours in the morning.

Since Dave is working late I've had to contend with Esmé on my own, so, I wanted to shout out to all you single parents out there......its a bloody hard job - hats off to you, I don't think I could do it on my own full time!

Anyway, since I've finally got mad madam mimm to bed, its time for tea. I'm cooking for one.......is there any point?


NO!

Pizza, Onion Rings, Cheesey Jalapeno Bites and Garlic Mushrooms!

Yes, I do eat 'brown food' (aka crap) occasionally, and I'm telling you that there is nothing wrong with it now and again.......Everything in moderation as my Grandpa used to say!

Well, I would surmise that no-one really wants to know how I cooked my frozen, brown, bad for you dinner so I will share last nights meal with you instead.

Here you go my beauts......


Piri Piri Chicken with Bean and Rice Salad.

1 Whole Chicken
2 red chillis 
2 garlic cloves
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
2 tsp smoked paprika
1 tbsp rapeseed oil
2 handfuls of parsley
50-75g of rice - cooked
1 can of borlotti beans
half a red pepper chopped
half a green pepper chopped
a handful of cherry tomatoes (halved)
3-4 spring onions chopped
Juice of 1 lime
1 tsp of cajun spice
another 1/2 tbsp rapeseed oil


Take the backbone out of the chicken (this is real easy but you can find 'how to's' on you tube). Turn the chicken over and press down so that it is splayed. Ta Dah! you have a spatchcocked chicken..

With a food blender, whizz the chillis, garlic, and 1/2 the parsley. Add the paprika, vinegar and oil and whizz some more until you get a nice runnyish (yes, its not a word but I like it) paste.

Rub this mixture all over the chicken and leave to marinade as long as you can within reason (I only had an hour)

Whack the chilli bad boy chicken in a pre-heated oven (180 fan) for an hour 1/2. once cooked, take out to rest for 20 mins.

In the mean time, put the rice, beans, peppers, tomatoes and spring onions into a bowl. in a separate bowl whisk the lime juice, cajun spice and oil then add to the salad and mix....

Once the chicken has rested, carve and serve alongside the salad.....





















Enjoy!

Love Lauren x

Sourdough Bread - FAIL #2

Perfect Prove?

So, the second try of Sourdough Bread was an unmitigated disaster, go figure.

I loaded the dough onto a baking sheet for the final hour's prove, in the words of Miranda - what I like to call, the perfect prove >>>

Hastily, knife sliced 'bread'

HA!  In the 'recipe' they have a perfect looking loaf.  My perfectly proved dough however, spread out!  Filling the sheet like that self levelling concrete you can buy.  I was too embarrassed to take a photo of that, (Lauren saw it, in all its depressed glory)  so, I hastily gathered it into a bread shape gave it some knife stripes - as per the recipe and chucked it in the oven for 25 minutes.



Hey Presto!

I have achieved the probable!  Another giant bread biscuit, that could withstand Napalm.

Giant inedible biscuit

And so, after I cut a slice, with the resident hand saw, tried it, got lockjaw and promptly proclaimed it...inedible.  I can safely say that your family and children are safe! Phew!   Although I can't say the same for the local recycling centre (tip, as we know it)  Good luck with that fellas...

I am however NOT DEFEATED!

I will rise from the burnt on crusty bits, I will elevate my bread making into something never seen before...

In other words, Sour dough can go suck my proverbial.  Onto real bread...

YOU MAY TAKE MY KNEADING

YOU MAY TAKE MY BAKING

BUT YOU WILL NEVER TAKE MY...

Bread that's edible.

Bit of an anticlimax,


Still, if ever the military run out of ideas, I have the perfect bomb shelter recipe.

Catch you later with my 'normal bread' recipe, with any luck!

Love Melissa x

Sourdough Bread try #2 - July 1st 2015

Now I have tried and failed to make homemade bread countless times.  I am beginning to think that bread making and I do not mix, pardon the pun.

Maybe I am setting my standards too high, I have this image in my head of producing the most gorgeous, rustic tasty loaf day after day, whilst at the same time being able to do some flower arranging, paint a masterpiece and provide a delicious evening meal for when my darling husband and delightful, clean children come home, because in that alternate universe I am a Stepford Wife.

Well that's the dream, the reality of the matter is I suck so bad at making bread that my beautiful rustic loaf either comes out like a giant biscuit or like a gone wrong mushroom cloud.  Sometimes the loaf is so hard you could literally build a bomb shelter out of it, no joke.  All this whilst trying to keep on top of the mountain of laundry, clean up yogurt from the floor, worktop and walls, scrape toothpaste off the side of bathroom sink, pick up grotty underwear, knock something together to stop the sprogs gnawing the furniture when they come home black as the road...the list goes on.

The 'starter'

I am throwing caution to the wind!!  Those pants are just going to have to stay there!  Welded on weetabix?  Not today brother!  I am going to have another bash at sourdough bread,  I have had the starter 'yeasting' away for 24 hours, and it kinda smells like a brewery.

The recipe - yes the RECIPE folks - I am using was in this April's edition of the BBC Good Food magazine http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/cheats-sourdough I was so excited I started straight away, and ended up with a baked giant splat, even the kids looked at me stupid when I told them it was bread.  And I hasten to add, it looked nothing like the picture.  As I said recipes aren't my strongest suit.  Still onwards and upwards!

All ready to prove

Other supermarket bags are available

So I did everything according to the recipe, made starter - Check, weighed out flour, measured water - Check, mixed everything together - Check.

Now what this recipe doesn't tell you is how you are supposed to knead for 5-7 minutes the big ball of floury goop which sticks to every surface like bloody glue.  Honestly if you put wall paper up with this stuff it ain't never coming off...ever.  I did my very best to knead the dough but ended up spreading it over the work top with doughy hands that looked looked like the elephant man had an accident in the bread factory.  In the end, in true Melissa style, I chucked it in the bowl and covered it, I have, as good timing would have it, run out of cling film hence the carrier bag.

I'll check back with the results, ooo I am on tenterhooks!

Love Melissa x

Country Living anyone???

OK, so here's the thing. I really want that dream house with the cream/white finishings, a splash of colour here and there, a place for everything and everything in it's place. You know, the sort of thing you see in the Country Living magazines and Antique specials where one reads about how wonderful Supermum keeps her brood of children, husband and smallholding in a perfect state of immaculateness (is that a word?!) while the children grow up in the countryside playing in streams and somehow never getting their clothes dirty. Oh and said Supermum has a fantastic career (and income) to boot?
      

My Inspriration

Cow.

No I'm not jealous AT ALL.

This is because I KNOW it is all a farce. No one can actually live like that. I'm sure of it. I am sure secretly we are all muddling through and there is no way their houses actually stay like that all the time. I can imagine in reality the week before the magazine was due to visit said Supermum running the riot act about the house being photographed " for xxxxx Magazine and no you can't leave that mug there....". The night before being a mad rush of tidying and the actual morning being a frenzy of breakfast, children bundled off to school and a final whizz around with the hoover. Ha. And of course the massive relief once they've gone and the whole family can begin to live again. No I am not jealous, BUT here's the point. Even though most of us know it's not really real, we still all yearn for these 'perfect' houses. I know I do.

My problem is this. I am not a perfectionist and I do not have OCD. Unfortunately. No seriously, I think just a little would be a good thing. Then my house would never get into This State:

The dreaded Girls room - eek!

Here is the truth of the matter: I will do ANYTHING to put off cleaning my house. (But I do still like it clean!). Today is an excellent example. The house is a bomb (how did we all end up with so many clothes???!), but instead of cleaning it (like Melissa would ha ha) so far today I have:

1. Chatted for 1/2 hour outside the school gates
2. Driven to a friends house to see if she was in and have a catch up. She was out so....
3. Driven into town to meet with a Toddler playgroup who I believed were meeting in an activity centre. As it turned out I was wrong. So after half an hour....
4. Drove home with Xavier and washed the dog - as I said - ANYTHING to avoid the housework! Then....
5. Oh OK I did start on the kitchen and dining room but then Xavier needed a bottle. So my mini cleaning spree ended as he refuses to drink it and fall asleep unless I hold him. (Yes I know I need to get tough but I still haven't).
6. Woo hoo he's asleep now so I could be carrying on with the cleaning but no. Instead I thought I'd write to all of you. I am the BEST procrastinator lol.

I suppose I'd better get on now though.... Georgie xx